My Wife Joined a Cult
Last week, my wife joined a cult. It’s probably the only cult that’s considered hip to join these days. It’s estimated that over 24 million people belong to it, and they have 68,000 “churches” in North America. Only the Catholic Church has more members. They groomed...
Do Goths Have Black Toilets
I was on the way to a concert recently, and I saw a black car with a black license plate that read “DEDGIRL.” She even had a bumper sticker that read “All Flesh Rots.” I couldn’t see inside the car (tinted windows, of course), so I have no idea if she was an aspiring...
Nuptials and Cake
Over the weekend, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce had a small, tasteful wedding in a charming little chapel on the East Coast. Just kidding! They had an over-the-top extravaganza so big it had to be held in Madison Square Garden. This made me think that if (heaven...
The Apostle of Nonsense
When I was in Salem a few weeks ago, I saw a statue of a priest named Father Theobold Mathew. As you can (sort of) see from the picture below, he was the “Apostle of Temperance.” (My apologies for cutting off the last line of the inscription as I’m a lousy...
Check the Expiration Date
This weekend, I opened a box of baseball cards from 1989. The gum was so stuck to the back card of each pack, you would have thought it had been glued on. I managed to get it off but didn’t have the courage to taste it. I’m at the age where it would take a dare and...
The Citizen Waymo Controller
This past week, you may have seen the story about renegade Waymo taxis getting stuck in a cul-de-sac in suburban Atlanta. Most people were horrified by the possibilities of self-driving cars going rogue. Me? I saw an opportunity… If you’ve never heard of Waymo, it’s a...