The Preferred Weapon of Gamblers & Prostitutes
My mom (who is 80+) was in a purge mood this weekend. She was going through items in her house and telling us who they should go to when she passed. She also asked us if we wanted some things that she didn't want to keep around. To our surprise, she produced an...
Bogged Down in Toe Knuckles
I didn’t win the billion-dollar jackpot from Mega Millions last week. I could blame my wife for purchasing the wrong ticket. I could blame math for making the odds so astronomical that you are 300 times more likely to get hit by lightning than win the cash. Or, I...
My Warranty is About to Expire
This week is my 10th anniversary, or my 10-year warranty is about to expire, depending on your point of view. I’ve experienced the normal wear and tear (I’m grayer and fatter) but still functioning. My wife, unfortunately, has a front-row seat to the kind of nonsense...
Running From the ‘Rona
It's officially here. The Coronavirus has invaded our home like a bad house guest. It took up residence in my wife's respiratory system and now she's sequestered in our guest bedroom. I, on the other hand, am dodging it like a deadbeat trying to evade a process...
The Only Thing We Have to Fear
Franklin Roosevelt once uttered the famous quote, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." He was wrong. We have to fear alligators. Particularly, alligators that are not where they should be —as in Michigan. Now, if I go to Florida, I know that any body of...
Toads, Ushers, and Detritus
Last weekend we attended our first concert since before the modern version of the plague disrupted daily lives and the chicken wing supply chain. It was the Last Summer on Earth Tour with Gin Blossoms, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and Barenaked Ladies. The show had been...