I survived the ‘rona virus. That’s good news for me, but not such good news for the literary world as I will continue to write the type of nonsense you’ve all grown accustomed to reading. I won’t go into a lot of details, let’s just say there was a lot of phlegm involved and sleeping in the guest bedroom.

My wife and dog are happy I’m back in our bedroom. At least that’s what they told me. He’s looking at me side eyed so I’m not 100% certain regarding his sincerity. In the meantime, what did I miss?

A very rich guy bought Twitter and lots of people got mad and threatened to leave but never really left, meanwhile people are being mean to each other or airing their grievances while predicting it will all crash soon. So, in summary, Twitter has a new owner, but the content hasn’t really changed all that much.

An election happened. I was healthy for the actual voting day but sick for the two weeks of counting like we’re in medieval times or something. For heaven’s sake, we have things like computers and phones with GPS and instant football scores, but it still takes weeks to count votes. The end result is that one team controls the House and one team controls the Senate so not a whole lot will get done in the next 2 years.

There’s a huge soccer tournament going on in a place called Qatar. I’ve always thought the name Qatar was made up, like something from a Disney movie, but it’s real and my brother once went there for work. I’ve heard everyone is upset about the soccer venue not serving beer. But my brother told me there are lots of secret bars in Qatar. So, if you’re reading this from the World Cup and thirsty, call my brother. He’ll hook you up.

Finally, there is a roundabout in my hometown that has a bizarre sculpture (picture below). Apparently, people made so much fun of it, they had to move it last week to a less-traveled roundabout. If it wasn’t in the newspaper, you would swear the story came from my Tales From a Roundabout Series.

At any rate, I’m glad I’m back. Thanks for all the well wishes. 

Carry on, Citizens!