This morning I let my dog out to do his morning business. When I brought him back in, I handed him a treat and wondered aloud, “Why doesn’t anyone hand me a treat when I go poo?” 

My wife answered from the other room, “You should blog about that.” (Notice, she didn’t offer to hand me some sort of processed meaty treat for using the bathroom. She just told me to write about it.)

I think restaurants should try this. Have a person stationed just outside the lavatory to ask customers, “Did you potty? Did you wash your hands?” If you say yes, the employee should rub your head and give you a chicken wing. “Did you pee on the seat?” Answer “no” and you get 2 chicken wings! I would wholeheartedly endorse a restaurant like that.

This could work in a lot of other places as well. Just think how clean gas station bathrooms could become if people got a Slurpee and/or a Slim Jim for not turning them into the festering disease holes they are today. 

Women could train their husbands, boyfriends, children etc. with treats too. This has endless possibilities, but I can’t explain them right now. I have to go to the bathroom and my wife is holding bacon.

Carry on, Citizens!

photo credit: Melnee Benfield Rex with his treat via photopin (license)