Are there any holiday traditions that you think are dumb? (I know I’m entering dangerous territory here, so if I offend you pretend this message came from John Grisham.) For me, it’s outdoor live nativity scenes. I was invited to be part of one once, and I can’t think of anything I would rather do less.

Before I continue, I have no issue with nativity scenes in general. My problem is with these two things: live and outdoor. I live in Indiana. It’s cold in December in Indiana. There is no way I’m standing out in the cold dressed as a shepherd while people with warm cocoa drive by and say things like, “he doesn’t look like a shepherd.”

And they would be right! I don’t look anything like a shepherd!

The other problem with live nativity scenes is the people who organize them always want live animals to make them authentic. And that’s how you get what happened in Kansas City this week. A camel got loose from a live nativity scene and the police spent an entire day trying to capture it. Apparently, it was good at disguises.

We have a tradition that we do each year. We load up the car with the family, go to Starbucks for hot chocolate, then drive around looking at Christmas lights. Last year, we found a house that had enough blue and white lights to make Clark Griswold proud. On top was a Star of David. It was an epic Hannukah display! We also found a two-story Santa Clause. It reminded me of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters.

Here’s a tradition I don’t think is dumb. I learned the other day that in Iceland, it’s tradition to give books on Christmas Eve and then settle in and read them with chocolate. This prompted two thoughts: 1) Why haven’t I been to Iceland? 2) I need to market books in Iceland. I wonder how hard it would be to translate my books into Icelandic?

Carry on, Citizens!