Have you heard of the Nextdoor app? It’s a website/phone app that allows you to spy on  connect with your neighbors. It sounds like a lovely idea, right? Bring us together, promote community, and all that. 

It’s not. Instead, it’s a daily confirmation that the world is filled with crazy people and they live uncomfortably close to you. 

Last week, there was a thread that was quite contentious. A particular neighborhood had been overwhelmed with geese. Angry, aggressive geese with less than desirable hygiene habits. 

The HOA decided to thin the flock so-to-speak. One group of residents (whose sidewalks were not covered in poop) was outraged. How dare they kill poor defenseless geese?

The poop sidewalk people fought back. There were lots of angry posts back and forth. I enjoyed the show. The geese continued to poop on the sidewalks and largely ignored the discussion. 

There is a lot of concern with nature on Nextdoor. As I’m scrolling, one woman is warning everyone about a fox in her neighborhood. Another is asking for help getting rid of ground bees. One neighbor suggested pouring boiling water on them. This erupted into an argument over whether the bees are a protected species. Forget the bees, I’m worried about the boiling water guy! I don’t want to walk my dog anywhere near his place! 

People also like to post pictures of animals or plants and ask for help identifying them. So, every once in awhile, I like to photoshop an extinct species into a picture from my backyard and ask for help identifying it. 

Lots of cats seem to go missing too. People are always posting a “Have you seen this cat” message, and I feel bad for them. But my pet falcon has to eat. 

People get into political fights on Nextdoor too. But these are on a smaller scale than things like who should be the next president. Last week, they were fighting over what types of unattached structures should be allowed on private property and should people be able to burn their leaves.  

I chimed in to say people should be able to burn the unattached structures but not the leaves. I was banned for a day. 

Probably the best feature is that when somebody posts something really bizarre, you can look at what neighborhood they live in and avoid it like the plague. And since I’ve been on the app, traffic in our neighborhood has been reduced by 90%. 

Carry on, Citizens!