Deleted scenes, B-sides, outtakes and unreleased material. Sometimes stuff doesn’t make it into a movie or an album. The same thing happens with blogs for whatever reason. I was piddling around today and discovered some material that was started and never made it into a blog post. This particular one was from a series I was doing on the history of breakfast. As you will read, it was heavily researched and 100% factual. So, without further ado (because we don’t go for that sort of thing), here is a Carry On Citizens Outtake on French Toast:
Many people ask me, “Jeff, why is it called ‘French Toast?” And with all the wisdom of someone who rarely makes breakfast, I respond “It’s because the French version of toast beat out all the lesser toasts.”
Yes, there were lesser toasts that have competed with the French throughout the years. But lesser toasts are just not as sweet in the morning. And let’s face it, French Toast just sounds good. It certainly sounds better than German Toast, which was officially banned by Kaiser Wilhelm. Scottish Toast never caught on in the U.S., as it is quite disgusting —what with the bits of haggis baked into the bread.
Irish Toast had a brief run of supremacy until the Irish figured out that it was much easier to drink the whiskey straight from the bottle than to soak the bread in it for two days. Swiss Toast was a complete disaster, inasmuch as it had holes like the cheese, thus it was a terrible delivery platform for syrup.
The British never really embraced toast, focused on the muffin as they were. As such, they did not fight in the Toast Wars (1875-1986). However, they did lend advisers and supplies to the American led Pancake Uprising of 1955 (at about 7:30 AM). The Pancake Uprising failed to unseat the French and in 1986, the U.N. declared French to be the Official Toast. However, Texas has always maintained its toast independence, choosing to serve their toast without syrup and shockingly at dinner instead of breakfast.
Despite the insolence of Texans, French has remained the official toast. And so, historians agree that the last known victory by the French in any armed conflict was in the Toast War. Viva La France!
Carry on, Citizens!