Last week, I mentioned my journey to Florida. The primary purpose of my trip was work. The secondary purpose was to squeeze in a mini-vacation. Apparently, the tertiary purpose of my trip was to leave my gas tank unattended so ne’er-do-wells could empty it.
Gas has become so expensive that people are stealing it again, just like in the 70s. I don’t want to go back to the 70s. I was a kid during the 70s and I’ve seen the pictures. I dressed funny. Or the people who supplied my clothing needs (aka my parents) had horrendous taste in fashion. Either way, I looked pretty ridiculous.
I did have blonde hair, however. Over the years it has evolved from blonde to brown to salt n pepper to old-guy-yelling-at-clouds-grey. I’m even getting profiled for senior discounts and I’m not even old enough to be in the AARP.
But, I see this as a blessing. Soon, I will be able to get away with all manner of nonsense and people will think I’m old and senile. It’s a good disguise!
Anyway, back to the 70s. Despite my goofy clothes, I did have an Evel Knievel bicycle. For those who don’t remember or are too young, this is a man who used to jump anything with his motorcycle to get on TV. He would jump cars, buses, buildings, and even a pool filled with sharks.
Riding the Evel Knievel bicycle, I did not jump cars, buildings, and sharks. Not that we didn’t try. We (my neighborhood friends) just didn’t have the resources to build ramps, stack cars, or secure sharks.
During his career, Knievel was really good at the jumping part, just not so much at the landing. He supposedly broke 433 bones over his career. I split my chin open once and gave up jumping things. I lacked his dedication.
And that brings me back around to stealing gas. I think that people who steal gas should have to jump a tank full of sharks. With my old Evel Knievel bicycle.
Carry on, Citizens!
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