This past week, you may have seen the story about renegade Waymo taxis getting stuck in a cul-de-sac in suburban Atlanta. Most people were horrified by the possibilities of self-driving cars going rogue. Me? I saw an opportunity…
If you’ve never heard of Waymo, it’s a self-driving taxi company that was started by Google in 2016 and evolved out of their self-driving car project that began years earlier. Now you can find them in 10 metropolitan areas, including… Washington D.C.
And that’s where I see an opportunity. What if we forced our elected officials to take Waymos to and from work? And we, as citizens, could program the Waymos to force them to visit the places impacted by their legislation? Or better yet! If they do a government shutdown because they can’t come to an agreement, we just send them circling around a random cul-de-sac in Virginia until they get their act together.
Congress Mammal: “We’re shutting down the government because the other party won’t give in to our demands. And they hate kittens.”
Congress Mammal from the opposite party: “They’re shutting down the government because they are unreasonable. And they want to take away Christmas and Mother’s Day.”
Citizen Waymo Controller: “We hate both of you. How about you both ride around Bailey’s Crossroads locked in a Waymo for 8 hours.”
Congress Mammals holding hands: “We’ve come to an historic agreement with our esteemed colleagues.”
Oh, and I’ve got more ideas. This weekend is the Indy 500. What if we held a lottery for one Citizen to be able to ride in a Waymo Indy Car? The government could sell tickets all year, and the drawing would be two weeks before the race. The winner gets to ride in it for qualifying and the race! I bet we could put a MAJOR dent in the national debt by selling lottery tickets for the Waymo race car.
Anyway, I think if this gets any traction, I see a future as the Citizen Waymo Controller. I would love to send members of Congress on endless rides around cul-de-sacs. Or even into abandoned quarries.
Carry on, Citizens!
