I finally got it. After nearly 3 years of avoiding COVID, it finally beat me. So, I hope you’ll forgive me if my newsletter is short this week. In fact, I’m going to post a replay of my trip to get the shot from 2021 below. In the meantime, I’m doing okay. I would say it’s an average case. Not too severe, but not lucky enough to be a mild one either. My wife is taking good care of me and deserves a medal or a trip to some beachy place in the near future.

So, enjoy this little re-run and I’ll see you next week.

Vaccination Day: Originally Published March 30, 2021.

Today was Vaccination Day. Not a national holiday and not something you get all dressed up for, but, as you will see, I do wish I had worn better underwear. Here are some of my observations about the experience.

First, the patient in front of me caused much confusion for the poor check-in person (who happened to be on her 1st day and in training). It seems that she (the patient) was in the wrong hospital, on the wrong day, in the wrong month, at the wrong time. There was so much shared confusion between the two of them that they opened a second check-in station.

I wonder if the check-in person asked herself, “is it like this every day? Do people just come in randomly, regardless of when they are scheduled? Have I made a career mistake?”

I wonder if the patient asked herself, “who am I and how did I get here? This hospital sure has changed since the last time I was here? Wow, it’s already May?”

After they assured her it was indeed March, they opened up a new check-in for me. I answered a lot of questions regarding how I was feeling. I don’t think they were actually concerned about that though. When they asked me how I was feeling, I answered “melancholy.” She sternly told me she meant did I have a fever, nausea, cough, etc.

I responded “no” to each, and she never revisited the melancholy. I suspect it wasn’t on the list of symptoms to check for, but I couldn’t see her screen.

Next, they gave me a laminated card with a number and told me to find the cubicle with that number. I found it and waited for the nurse. When she arrived, she asked me which cheek? I thought we were all getting these in the arm! Since my check-in nurse didn’t have a sense of humor, I assumed this one didn’t either. So, I said, “Left” and dropped my pants.

Did I mention the patient in line behind me was terrified of this whole procedure? And that she was in the cubicle facing mine? Well, when I dropped my pants she screamed, threw her paperwork in the air, and ran out the door. My nurse informed me that she did have a sense of humor (up until that moment) and she was kidding about which cheek.

But seeing that I was already in position, and I had ruined the day of the woman in line behind me, she proceeded to administer the shot in the left cheek with extreme malice and prejudice.

Afterward, I was told to wait in the lobby for 15 minutes in case of a negative reaction. I wondered if this was really to call the police for dropping my pants, but there were others waiting and I figured not all of us had been shot in the backside.

I considered pretending I was having an allergic reaction so I could be admitted and take a few days off work. But, I had engendered enough animosity from the medical community today, so I decided against it.

As for side effects, I haven’t experienced much. I have little pain near the site of the shot and I’m craving fried chicken. My wife says that has nothing to do with the shot, but I’m not convinced.

In four weeks, I get the second shot. I’m shopping for new underwear in the meantime.

PS: Thank you to several alert readers of last week’s newsletter who pointed out that Canada does NOT have ducks on their money. They have loons. Even better!!

Carry on, Citizens!