There has been an incident. Sunday, April 26th, will forever be known as the day my wife cut my hair and I became Uncle Fester. 

It’s not her fault that I look like a character from The Addams Family. I did agree to have her cut it, knowing full well that she is not a registered hairdresser. But I knew I was in trouble when she finished and said, “It will look good with a hat on.”

Now, I’m not completely bald like Fester. It’s just that cutting my hair so short revealed a Fester-ish head shape. I have a big enough skull as it is. Notice I didn’t say “big head” as in “I have a big brain.” 

Nope, I would say that as I’ve gotten older, I realize that my skull is a house with a lot of empty rooms—if you catch my drift. It’s like an empty nester house for a family that had 5 kids. Now there are all these rooms that nobody goes into anymore. You remember there used to be something in there, but you can’t be bothered to look. 

And that house (skull) now has a lot less shrubbery (hair) hiding it. So, I’m wearing a lot of baseball hats while working from home these days. But those are dull. I wish I had a fez or a conquistador helmet to work in. 

Actually, I would like to wear either of those to the grocery (fully masked of course) next time. I feel like COVID has caused people to lower their public appearance standards (which was only about 1/2 a rung in the U.S.). So, I think powerful, ridiculous headwear could become a thing. 

I suppose I could keep this look until Halloween and tell my wife she has to dress as either Morticia Addams or Wednesday Addams, but that’s pretty far away and I don’t think she would go for it. So, I’ll let it grow back. Unless you have a conquistador helmet lying around. Then I’ll definitely let her cut it again.  

Carry on, Citizens!

photo credit: Brechtbug Uncle Fester – Addams Family by Charles Addams 6328 via photopin (license)