There is this thing people in our family do when they spill food on themselves. They say they “Jeff’d” themselves. I’m not sure how this tradition started (as I glance over at a picture of my wife…), however, it’s taken hold of the entire family. From the kids to my mother-in-law, if somebody drops a little sauce on their sweater to ice cream on their shorts, they announce, “I Jeff’d myself.”

I would like to say that my name is being unfairly besmirched (mostly because I like the word besmirched). In fact, I do have the worst luck with food and clothes. Particularly if the clothes are white or new. My investment in OxyClean stain remover suggests there is some truth to this label, but I’m shredding the receipts in advance of the upcoming defamation trial.

I sort of know what it’s like to be named Karen. I feel bad for the women of the world named Karen because they are now lumped into the “Karen” memes about bad public behavior. Trust me, I get the meme and some of the videos are outrageous. I just don’t know how they settled on “Karen” as the name. I’ve known 3 Karens in my life and they have been about as opposite of the “Karen” meme as you can find. But all it takes is one to screw it up for the rest. Am I the clumsy eating “Jeff” that has screwed it up for the rest of the Jeffs?

This brings me back to Jeff’ing yourself. I don’t know how many times I walked out of a restaurant with marsala sauce on my tie, but it obviously was one too many (and quite tasty). Speaking of ties, I purged a bunch recently and found more spots on them than I care to count. Maybe there is something to this? Maybe I should embrace the meme? Maybe that will sell more books? Maybe I should get a reservation at an Italian restaurant tonight. The one with the chicken marsala special on Tuesdays. I’ve got to go find a clean tie.

Carry on, Citizens!

PS: Did you know it’s National Roundabouts Week? I didn’t either! And I live in the American city with the most roundabouts. Obviously, this was poor planning on my part since I wrote a book titled Tales From a Roundabout. So, in honor of National Roundabouts Week, here’s a free download sample of Tales From a Roundabout Volume 1.