Whenever I need a pick-me-up, I like to scan the Odd News headlines. They are a soothing and hilarious antidote to the crime and political headlines that keep everybody shouting at each other on Twitter and TV. 

And there’s a 50-50 chance someone somewhere has done something while naked. And that adds to the comedy value.

Consider these gems I spotted this morning:

1) Colorado Man Set Home Ablaze Clearing Cobwebs With a Blowtorch

According to the story, he was under his house in a crawl space trying to battle the cobwebs. I’m sure that this will come as no surprise to you that the police found meth at the scene. It also won’t surprise you that he lives with his mom at age 39. She is reportedly looking for a new roommate.

2) Bad week for Colorado: Colorado Hiker Lost for 24 Hours, Ignored Rescuers Calls Because He Didn’t Recognize the Number

Okay, this one is funny, but a cautionary tale as well. I ignore numbers all day. What if they aren’t calling me to sell me an extended warranty? What if I’m lost and I don’t know it? Maybe I should start answering the phone?

3) California Man Sues Psychic Who Said She Could Remove Witch’s Curse His Ex Put On Him. 

Apparently, the psychic told him his ex-girlfriend had hired a witch to put a bad luck curse on him, and for $5100, she could take it away. It occurred to me that maybe the bad luck curse the witch put on him was paying $5100 to a psychic. By the way, why don’t psychics ever win the lottery? For the record, I don’t use the services of either. But years ago, someone did say my name three times into a mirror and I wound up in Duluth. I’m not sure what that means.

4) And my favorite for the day: Firefighters Rescue Naked Man Stuck in Landmark Theatre Bathroom Wall

(I told you one of these would involve nudity!) This guy was in there for three days. The story had no details as to why he was naked. I’m assuming they don’t want to alarm the movie-going public. Maybe the bad luck witch got him too, considering last week was Halloween. 

So, when the regular news gets you down, switch over to the Odd News. It’s way more entertaining. And now, I have to go. My phone is ringing, and I don’t recognize the number. Maybe I’m lost and I don’t know it. But at least I’m fully clothed. 

Carry on, Citizens!