I noticed something odd in the shower yesterday. My wife has a body wash containing shea butter and oatmeal. Next to it is a shaving cream made with raspberries and olive butter. Needless to say, I have questions! 

1) Oatmeal: How did oatmeal wind up in the body wash? Were other breakfast foods considered? Did they even try pancake batter? I think a guy’s body wash with pancake batter would be a huge hit. Drop the shea butter and include real butter and syrup. 

As a side note, I think body wash ingredient tester would be a great job! I think I would like a job where you could say things like “let’s add oatmeal to the body wash” and nobody would think you need counseling or a trip to HR. 

2) Butter: There’s a lot of butter in these products and I have a problem with that. Not that I care what dairy products you choose to put on your body, it’s just that I see some hypocrisy here. It seems the same people who want to tell us it’s bad to put butter IN your body have absolutely no problem recommending you put it ON your body. 

3) Shea Butter: Wikipedia tells me that shea butter comes from shea nuts off a shea tree. They also claim that the tree can only be found in West Africa. This sounds made up. I feel I need to go to West Africa and research this for myself. I told my wife that I need to go there right away to do blog research. She cited some sort of travel ban loophole that prevents me from going. I think she’s afraid of the truth getting out about shea butter.  I’ll keep you posted. 

4) Guy Body Wash Research: I think science has only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to washing yourself with food. I’m going to do some research on this (in the US for now). I’m making a list of options and they include chicken fried rice, Buffalo wing sauce, and Hershey’s syrup. Not all together, of course, that would be silly. 

photo credit: DJOtaku If you don’t take it, they’ll just throw it away via photopin (license)