I just finished the Ken Burns documentary on Earnest Hemingway. 

I learned a lot about the celebrated author from this 6-hour documentary. The biggest takeaway is that his life seemed to be wrapped up in ex-wives and bullfights. He collected a lot of the former and spend an inordinate amount of time on the latter.

It almost seems like Hemingway thought that marriage was like bullfighting, although the documentarian never actually states it directly. Most marriages don’t involve one party taunting the other with a cape and sword in front of thousands of people. But as you’ll see if you watch it, Earnest was an odd dude. 

I asked my dog if he thought bullfights were cruel. He licked my nose, rolled over, and assumed the “it’s time to scratch my belly” position. “You’re right,” I said. “It doesn’t matter right now.” 

Another thing I learned was that Hemingway was in two plane crashes in two days. I was once in 2 car crashes in the same place on the same day. That’s where my similarities to Hemingway end. Hemingway won a Pulitzer and a Nobel Prize. I won runner-up in best Indie Book of 2016 from a literary magazine called Shelf Unbound.

So, it’s safe to say our career trajectories aren’t in the same stratosphere. Neither are our personal lives. I prefer baseball over bullfighting. And as for wives, there will be no ex’s. My wife has made it clear that if this ends, I’m to be buried in the backyard. So, I’m on my best behavior (mostly). And I keep a sharp eye out in case she purchases a cape and/or a sword. 

Carry on, Citizens!