I did something I haven’t been able to do in almost 2 years this weekend. I went to a movie! And not just any movie. A James Bond movie. 

If you decide to go see this final chapter in the Daniel Craig run as Bond, you’ll need to plan your potty break. This movie clocks in at 2 hours and 43 minutes. Any longer and it would have been required to include elves, orcs, and other references to Middle Earth. 

Before I went, I Googled “best time to go to the bathroom during No Time to Die.” And the internet did not let me down. Believe it or not, there is an app called RunPee. This app gives you the best time(s) to go to the bathroom during movies. 

Do we not live in a great moment in history? We live in a time when our phones can give us a buzz and say, “Hey, run to the bathroom. The next 5 minutes are boring backstory. There are no villains or femme fatales in this next scene. Oh, and get us a refill on popcorn.”

Of course, I did a double-take on my phone when I heard that last line and realized it wasn’t the phone but my wife and sister-in-law.

But the app was right, I didn’t miss anything important and got back in time to see Bond do Bond things. I won’t spoil the movie for you, but if you like this kind of movie, you’ll enjoy this one. 

As for the pee app, I’m working with them to tell people when to go pee while reading my books. Or at least, to tell me when someone hands me a book to sign that’s been in the bathroom with the owner. That way I can give them a “fresh” copy. You can’t be too careful these days. 

Carry on, Citizens!