Renovation Probation

Renovation Probation

I’m feeling discombobulated. In fact, our whole house is discombobulated. My dog is stressed. My wife is restless. And everything is piled in corners. The US Department of Home Renovation forced us at gunpoint to rip out our carpet and replace it. I bet you...
The Euphemism is on Fire

The Euphemism is on Fire

A few weeks ago in Houston, a woman was playing a “gaming machine.” A gaming machine is a euphemism for gambling, much like “circle back” is a euphemism for “I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”  Anyway, she was...
Gruntled And Whelmed

Gruntled And Whelmed

We’re only a week or so away from Thanksgiving and I’m feeling gruntled and whelmed. That’s a good thing, by the way. It’s very close to being thankful —which I will be next week when pie returns to our kitchen.  I’m on a campaign to make...
Greetings From San Diego

Greetings From San Diego

Okay, so I’m not really in San Diego anymore. My wife forbids me to post from the road, lest ne’er-do-wells come to our residence and steal our stuff and wipe themselves with the good towels.* She’s pretty smart about these things, so for the rest of this post,...
Gizmo Never Forgets

Gizmo Never Forgets

My dog is angry at me. He knows I’m going to California soon without him. So, he’s protesting this trip by trying to keep me awake.  He dragged me out of bed last night on the pretense that there was a thunderstorm. When there is thunder and lightning at...
Bond, Bathrooms, & Books

Bond, Bathrooms, & Books

I did something I haven’t been able to do in almost 2 years this weekend. I went to a movie! And not just any movie. A James Bond movie.  If you decide to go see this final chapter in the Daniel Craig run as Bond, you’ll need to plan your potty break. This...