My wife started a new tradition last year by giving me, our three sons, and our daughter-in-law quirky advent calendars. This year I got two, one with Lego Star Wars and one with baseball cards!
It’s a little shared bit of joy in the holiday season. But…
It got me thinking how to I could offer a demented twist on the advent calendar AND start a new business. I’m still workshopping the name (Sadvent came to mind) but the idea is a company that sells advent calendars to deliver bad news to the people you used to love (or even now hate!).
Say you have a bad employee, but you hate confrontation. You give them an advent calendar that spells out “You’re fired!” It’s safe and minimizes the chance of a workplace shooting.
EMPLOYEE: “I can’t believe you fired me at Christmas.”
You: “But Bob, we spelled it out with sugar cookies. Have you tasted them? They’re amazing!”
EMPLOYEE: “Okay, these are pretty good.”
You: “Why don’t you put the gun down and have another?”
EMPLOYEE: “You got any milk?”
Advent calendars are a great way to deliver bad news! We’ve added a “Break Up Naughty and Nice” line for when you want to gently break up with your significant other but give them diabetes as well. It’s the “Let’s See Other People” advent calendar with triple the sugar treats inside!
And we have a premium revenge line of calendars as well. Take for example the Vanquish My Enemy Sadvent. Every day, you open a door with candy and tiny bones. When assembled they form the right hand of your biggest enemy! Who wouldn’t love that? (Not available in all states. Exclusions apply. All legal inquiries are the responsibility of the recipient.)
I think this business is really going to take off. I’ve been working on a small business loan, but 5/3 and Chase hung up on me. No worries, maybe I’ll take a stab at Shark Tank!
Carry on, Citizens!
