Someday I’m going to retire. Not from doing this, hopefully. But from my day job. And I’ve been thinking about what I might want to do in retirement. I know I need to find something to keep me busy to avoid being assigned copious house chores. Or, Heaven forbid, asked to serve on a committee!
Speaking of committees, you might be surprised to learn that back in the 90s, I was on a committee that reviewed products that had been submitted to Indiana University for licensing. From t-shirt designs to questionable “art,” if it had the IU logo on it, it had to go through us. Once a month, we would gather in a room filled with random products and fill out a form for each item.
And it might also delight you to know that it only took me one month of doing it to get bored with serious answers and write my reviews in the same tone and sarcasm that I write my newsletter. And believe it or not, they didn’t kick me off the team. In fact, people would fight to be the ones sitting on either side of me so they could look over my shoulder and see what I wrote. Reviews like:
- The quality of the shirt is good, but the design looks like a squirrel vomited on the front.
- The wooden IU mailbox looks like it was made in middle school shop class. I’m pretty sure the teacher gave it a D minus, and I can’t give it any higher marks.
- The embroidery looks to have been done by poorly trained weevils.
Anyway, it was fun while it lasted, but they don’t review products like that anymore. Back to the present (and the future), I don’t think there are any committees like that for me to join. So, I need something to do. I’m thinking about becoming a community disorganizer. You hear a lot about politicians who were former “community organizers,” but nary a word about disorganizers. It’s sort of like Batman. He’s nothing without the Joker. Superman had Lex Luther. The Road Runner had Wiley Coyote. And if organizers are going to be successful, they need disorganizers to make that happen.
Being a community disorganizer sounds like a lot more fun than being a greeter at Walmart or a volunteer at a museum. I even have a costume picked out.
What do you think?
Carry on, Citizens!
