Today is the confluence of three major events! It should be a national holiday, and as you know from last week, I tried to discuss this with my Congress Mammal to no avail. But I am undaunted. Mostly because I have no idea where I left my daunts. I’m starting to think I may have left them at my old house when I moved in 2024. Sorry to the people who moved into that house. Those aren’t ghosts in the basement. They’re my daunts.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah! The three major events. No, I’m not talking about some sort of alignment of planets or stars or constellations. I don’t have a clue about astrology. I do believe in Marvin the Martian, but that has more to do with my Saturday morning cartoon viewing habits as a child.
Back to the three major events. No more delay dear readers. Here they are:
- National Beer Day.
- National No Housework Day.
- National Coffee Cake Day.
Three very real holidays that my wife is certain I made up, but you can look them up on the National Day Calendar. And they all happen to be the same day!
How are we not cancelling all work on such an amazing day? This should be bigger than St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco De Mayo. A day devoted to drinking beer, eating cake, and doing absolutely NO housework should be a big deal!
If I were President, there would be national celebrations galore. Kids would still have to go to school, though. For one, I think it’s better they’re not around while we’re swilling beer and stuffing coffee cake in our faces. Also, I think they should spend the day learning skills, like how to bake coffee cake and the history of beer. Win-win!
So, if you thought today was just going to be another hum-drum day, rejoice! Make it a day filled with beer and cake. And no housework! Marvin the Martian would approve!
Carry on, Citizens!
