Tomorrow, men in overalls will come take all my worldly possessions and move them to an undisclosed bunker in northern… No wait, that’s my doomsday blog post. Today isn’t doomsday. (Unless you’re a moody teenager and then every day is doomsday, particularly junior year of high school.)
No, I checked the weather app (and they’re never wrong) and there’s no doom in the forecast, so tomorrow must be moving day. That’s why the men in overalls are coming. They will load up our junk and furniture and whisk it away to the other side of the county because I’ve worn out my welcome here.
Actually, we’re downsizing as we recently became empty nesters. We strategically chose this new house as it has no basement for 20-something children to move back into. Not that I think that’s an imminent possibility, but statistically with three kids that age, it’s bound to happen. Pew reports that 45% of people age 18-29 are living with their parents. The other 55% either had parents who moved without telling their kids or their parents filled their basements with concrete.
I kid of course, we would open our doors to our kids if they needed a place. But this time we’re charging for utilizes and internet. Check that, my wife says I can’t charge the kids for internet. How does she even know what I’m typing??
I’ve heard all sorts of horror stories of people losing their valuables in a move. Our movers came highly recommended, but you can never be too careful. That’s why I never label my boxes with what’s actually inside them. For example, my wife labels the kitchen stuff “Kitchen stuff.” Now, if one of the movers is unscrupulous and looking for some cutlery or a blender upgrade, they know right where to look.
But with my stuff, they’re too afraid to look inside. For example, office stuff is marked “Severed Heads.” Important paperwork is marked “Empty Cheetos Bags.” This keeps the nonsense to a minimum and it speeds up the move. They really don’t want to spend any more time than they must in our new home. Win win!
Next week, I’ll be writing to you from my new home office. That’s assuming the “Severed Heads” box doesn’t get lost.
Carry on, Citizens!
