Did you know that belief in God by American teenagers is at an all-time low? Did you also know that belief in fairies by teenagers is at an all-time high? How can this be?
Now don’t get nervous, I’m not about to wade into the subject of religion. I am going to wade into the subject of fairies because 1) our kids seem to believe in all kinds of them and 2) I’m wearing shorts with no socks.
First, there is the Car Repair Fairy. Picture this. It’s Monday morning and your kid is getting ready for school and they drop this on you. “I’m riding with (insert friend’s name here) to school. There’s an engine light on in my car.”
“When did you notice this light?”
“Thursday.”
“And you’re telling me now?”
“Well, yeah. I kept an eye on it all weekend. It didn’t do anything else.”
“You mean you knew about it but didn’t want to risk being without your car if it was in the shop all weekend?”
“Uhhh…”
“And now you want the Car Repair Fairy to magically fix it before next weekend so you can resume your regularly scheduled social calendar?”
Kid nods head.
At least we know our son isn’t the only one who believes in the Car Repair Fairy. Our neighbors told us of their son’s unwavering belief in this mythical creature. It seems he got a flat on one side of town, drove it completely to the other side of town, then called his dad for help.
Apparently, his copy of the Car Repair Fairy Bible states that if you keep driving, the Fairy will fix the tire en route. NASCAR teams have been trying to sign this fairy to a contract for years!
Teenagers believe in all sorts of other fairies too. They believe in the Fast-Food Wrapper/Cup Disposal Fairy. They believe in the Homework Fairy.
But the one to whom the ascribe the most worship is the Dirty Dishes Fairy. This fairy must have a lot of rules and regulations in her religion because teenagers leave her sacrifices (dirty cups) in every room of the house. And when their prayers aren’t answered, they leave more sacrifices (dirty bowls) next to the other sacrifices.
Pretty soon, the entire basement has become a Holy Site. There are tour guides and hours of worship and whatnot. I think one of our kids is selling Dirty Dish Fairy candles on eBay.
Then unbelieving parents come along and screw it up by ordering the basement cleaned of all offerings to the Dirty Dishes Fairy.
The true believers collect their items of worship, march them to the kitchen and leave them on the counter for the Dishwasher Fairy (she is related to the Dirty Dishes Fairy and her magic is making the dishes go from on the counter above the dishwasher to actually in the dishwasher). When it comes to dishes, kids seem to act like union workers in that they believe if they move the dishes from point A to point B, then some other union of children (or a fairy) must move them to point C.
And after the parents have committed this act of sacrilege, the kids go about creating new sacrifices to the Dirty Dish Fairy within hours.
Someday, they will grow out of this belief in the Dirty Dish Fairy. They will move out, get jobs, own homes, and have kids. And then they will gaze out upon their yards and wonder why the Lawn Fairy hasn’t pulled the weeds yet.
Carry on, Citizens!
