There has been a lot of talk about UFOs in the news this past week, due to the release of previously classified information by the U.S. Government. It has people sharing all kinds of crazy ideas. Including me.

I have a theory about this release. It might sound like a crazy conspiracy theory but hear me out. I think something big is going on. And when I say big, I mean huge! I think that our government wants to distract us from something truly awful that’s about to go down like a Kardashian show spin-off, the return of parachute pants, or a reboot of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. Why else would they release UFO information that they have kept secret for all these years?

I’m also skeptical about the images themselves. Why is it that Google can create a satellite picture of my neighborhood so clear I can see how bad my car needs a wash from space, but the picture quality of every UFO captured by a military plane looks like it was shot from a camera that cost 500 tickets at the redemption counter at Dave & Buster’s? For all the money we pay in taxes for the defense budget, can’t we buy a camera that can take a decent picture of a flying saucer?

One of the biggest surprises, when the Pentagon released its report, was the change in terminology to UAPs (Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon) from UFOs. Apparently, FOs was “problematic.” A group called the Persons Who Levitate successfully argued that by using the word “flying,” the Pentagon was discriminating against marginalized matter that is in the air by means other than flight. The Persons Who Shant Be Objectified were offended by the term “objects” as it objectified matter, and thus we have the much more inclusive term UAP. Another group is working on removing the “U” but an entire floor of the Pentagon pointed out that if these things aren’t “unidentified,” they would be out of a job.

Pentagon officials are being cagy in regard to admitting there is life beyond our solar system. Although they admit the images in the released videos/photos do represent actual objects, they refuse to speculate on their galaxy of origin. 

Do you believe in UFOs (sorry UAPs) and/or alien life? I’d like to think somewhere on Mars, Marvin the Martian exists since he is my favorite cartoon character. Actually, I think the proof that there is intelligent life out there is the fact that those intelligent beings (for the most part) avoid this planet.

Carry on, Citizens!