Prices are going up on everything. Gas, food, flamethrowers (I’ll get to that in a minute) all cost more than they did a year ago. Last night I went to an Italian restaurant and they charged $5 for bread. For bread!
Remember when Italian restaurants practically stuffed bread in your pockets? Okay, maybe I was going to some unorthodox establishments, but the point is bread was free. Not last night. We had to pay for it and the server wouldn’t go anywhere near my pockets.
And the pasta dish I had was barely more food than a side dish and way overpriced. Which leads to my next question: Have you noticed that stuff is shrinking too? To avoid the appearance of raising prices, companies are shrinking the amount of stuff you get in a bag, container, etc.
For example, the amount of M & M’s you get in a family-size bag is criminal (not that I’ve purchased any junk food lately in case my doctor or wife are reading this. That receipt from CVS was for paper towels, I swear.)
While pondering these things, the thought jumped into my mind, “how do I not own a flame thrower?” That’s how my mind works. One minute I sound like an old man yelling at clouds, the next I’m thinking about creative ways to clear snow from the driveway. This is the madness you’ve signed up for.
Thinking that question lead to saying it out loud. Immediately, our youngest son consulted Google. “$3,500 and free shipping he said.” Seems a little pricey, I thought. But then I considered how much fun a flame thrower would be, and I figured I could justify the cost.
Our youngest was clearly on my side. But my wife’s vote counts three times what ours does, so the motion to secure a flamethrower was defeated in committee.
On a related note, I will not be following the trend and raising prices on my books. So, don’t be afraid to buy more, send them as gifts, even share them with strangers. I’m keeping them cheap so you can afford the rest of the stuff you actually need. And so I can save up for a flame thrower.
Carry on, Citizens!