Decisions are hard. Last week I had to make a whole bunch of decisions about who would win games in the college basketball tournament. I can safely say that most of those decisions were bad. I’m dead last in the pool I did with my wife, sister-in-law, and their friends.

Scientists say we make between 33,000 – 35,000 decisions EVERY DAY! No wonder I’m always tired. And there’s no way we’re getting all of those decisions right. We’re all just trying to keep the bad decisions relegated to trivial stuff like, “I’ll wear these pants because they look good on me.”*

Somewhere buried among the 33,000 decisions are things like where we’re going to live, who we’re going to marry, and which size ice cream to order.**

Political decisions are even harder. We have an election coming up and I can’t tell if I should vote for the old guy, the other old guy, or the guy with the famous last name. Of course, I’m talking about the county assessor race where I live.

Nobody follows the county assessor race like I do. I have charts and graphs. I call the candidates and pretend to be someone else and trick them into assessing things. I seek them out in restaurants and make them assess the menus. I have high standards for my assessor.

And this year, none of them have managed to distinguish themselves. I have half a mind to run myself, but if I won, then I would have to assess things all day. And that would require even more decisions. So, I’ll just put down pictures of the three candidates and see which one my dog licks. Always trust your dog’s decisions.

Carry on, Citizens!

* They don’t.

** The big one.