My Blog

Help Me Get Banned

Help Me Get Banned

This may come as a surprise, but writing books has NOT made me a billionaire. It hasn't made me a millionaire. It hasn't even made me a thousandaire. However, I have been able to keep my dog in a steady supply of rawhide bones, so he thanks you.  So, I've been...

Thoughts on Thought Leaders

Thoughts on Thought Leaders

In my email today was a message from LinkedIn. The subject read: "Jeff, read the top 12 thought leader posts of the past year." I was intrigued. Not by the posts themselves, but by the thought of thought leaders. "Thought Leader" is one of those business buzzwords...

Victoria Hates Christina

Victoria Hates Christina

My candidates for Congress Mammal don't like each other. I mean really don't like each other. Every day they send me postcards and letters telling me how bad the other person is and why I shouldn't vote for them.  Their names are Victoria and Christina. Yesterday,...

How I Got Banned From Walgreens

How I Got Banned From Walgreens

I've had writer's block for 2 days. Maybe I got spoiled by the weather last week. You would think the turning leaves would inspire lots of words, but not so much. So, I decided to write about writer's block. It's kind of like word constipation, but there's no literary...

The Department of Obscure Questions

The Department of Obscure Questions

Due to a keen sense of needing to know useless trivia (along with not having anything else to write about today), I have decided to answer a deeply troubling question sent in by Outstanding Citizen Herbert Schwump of Austin, TX. Mr. Schwump writes: Dear Jeff, In what...

I’m Not Dead Yet

I’m Not Dead Yet

Yesterday, I got an odd message from an old co-worker. It said, "Hey. Haven't talked in a while. Just got a text from someone. Are you ok?" Sounds cryptic, doesn't it. Could be a scam, someone posing as my friend. Or it could be the CIA playing mind games on me. Or it...