This was today’s headline in my Nextdoor Daily Digest email: 

“The Bees are crazy! Is it me or does it seem like the bees have simply gone mad?”

This was posted by a man named Stephen. Stephen is very concerned about the bees. And frankly, I find this kind of conspiracy thinking refreshing. Let’s face it, after 2 years of American discourse being centered on politics and viruses, I’m down for a good old-fashioned nature-gone-wild theory. 

Stephen doesn’t have a definitive theory for why the bees have gone mad. He speculates it may be because winter is right around the corner. He also says “they are everywhere and they are really not avoiding people.” 

He may be on to something. If I was a property developer reading this, I might just post on my website, “move to Welshley Meadows. Our bees avoid people.” 

I’ve written about the Nextdoor App before. If you’re new to Nextdoor, it’s a Facebook-style platform that is intended to bring neighborhoods together. And I suppose it does for the most part. But every so often, it devolves into a fight over what the school board is up to or who left a bag of poo on who’s lawn. And of course, you get these deliciously insane posts with all sorts of crazy ideas and theories. I scan it every day for story ideas! 

For the record, the bees at my house avoid people. My dog and I walk by some plants in our yard (I say plants because I’m illiterate when it comes to names of shrubs, flowers, and trees) where bees are plentiful every day. They ignore us. Well, that’s not entirely true. Occasionally, they shout, “when are you going to pull the weeds, Stanger?” I’m pretty sure one of my neighbors with perfect lawns put them up to it.

Currently, the only problem animal at our place is the jerk squirrel. He throws nuts at our dog (yes throws them like a quarterback) and generally taunts him. But I don’t post these stories on Nextdoor. I save my nonsense for you. 

Carry on, Citizens!